bad vegan! bad!

let me preface this by saying: i’m trying, i really am. i am a big baby when it comes to food… i don’t really do "exotic" food and i pretty much eat like your typical six year old. i love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (you know, every day), and cereal, and the aforementioned mac & cheese. i am very finicky about certain "tastes," as i call them. for instance, i usually don’t like things that have "chinese food taste." i was 22 before i ever tried guacamole, and 25 before i ever tried caesar salad. i adored them both but no longer eat the one with the fish and the eggs and the cheese mayitrestinpeace.

i used to jokingly call myself the world’s worst vegetarian, because i cannot stand mushrooms–which, i swear, are the official vegetable of vegetarians. i also learned a couple of years ago that eggplant is the devil–another vegetarian standby, especially at restaurants.

so, okay, i’m "selective." we’ve got that out of the way.

i try to be a good sport, though. and especially since i’ve become vegan, i’m being really good about trying new things. at the moment, however, i have found myself up against a treacherous opponent: oats.

i do not like oats. i’m not sure if i can logically blame this on my mother’s distaste for oatmeal raisin cookies (oh yes. i also hate raisins.), but i think i will. i was trained at an early age to take chocolate chip over oatmeal raisin at every opportunity. i never had oatmeal as a child. now that i am vegan, it seems that almost every vegan treat is full of oats. what up with that?

first, there’s the oatmeal. vegan breakfast of champions! last semester, when i mentioned my transition to veganism to one of my classes, several students piped up with their love of oatmeal. i got tons of suggestions on what kind to get, how to make it, when to eat it, you name it. i bought myself a little bowl of instant microwave oatmeal (cinnamon swirl or something) and ate it at my sister’s one day when i was babysitting my adorable niece. holy lord, the syrupy gruel! i forced myself to eat it like a big girl, but i did not enjoy it. when i later told yet another oatmeal-loving friend about my experiment, she scolded me for buying "the gross kind" and told me what to get instead. dutifully, i followed her directions, got the boxed instant (apple cinnamon), and made some the other day (using milk instead of water) when i was feeling sickly. okay, this was better gruel, but it was gruel nonetheless. my oatmeal looks *nothing* like the oatmeal on the front of the box. i couldn’t even finish the bowl. am i really too stupid to measure out 1/2 cup of milk correctly? i have no idea what i’m doing wrong.

then, there are the power bars. every single one of them has oats. luna bars, clif bars, you name it. if it’s a vegan protein-y bar thing, it has oats. i keep hearing people rave about clif bars, and they have some awesome-sounding flavors, but i’m reluctant to plunk down  money to eat a mouthful of oats masquerading as lemon poppyseeds.

the lone exception that i have found is the bumblebar. which, just don’t. it’s like eating a very flat bar made entirely of birdseed. the bar i bought was "chai almond," which sounded quite tempting, but although the ingredients promised chocolate and almonds and whatnot, it was really just a buttload of sesame seeds glued to some flax seeds and a teeny almond chip here or there. i ate three bites, gave the rest to my sweet husband, who ate about six bites and then we tossed it out. sorry, bumblebar.

but i really am trying. i swear.

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11 comments

  1. “girl least likely to” … eat mushrooms or eggpplant
    I ate both of them for lunch today in a spicy thai dish.
    If you ever come to Minnesota I’ll remember to stock up on the peanut butter and jelly.

  2. Ai-Ya! I think that you and my partner must have been separated at birth! He’s Mr. Picky as well!
    As Rosiland Russell said in the immortal cinematic spectacular “Auntie Mame”, “Live! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!”

  3. I am selective also. Which is the reason I prepare most of my own meals. I do not use oats that much unless I grind it for flour for bread making. I sometimes use it in cookies, and raw food bars.
    I usually eat fruits or some type of bean dish for breakfast.

  4. I absolutely hate oatmeal too, but I like oats in bars and cookies. Go figure. I’ve found that since I’ve been a vegetarian and gotten older (don’t know which is more responsible) I’ve started to like foods I never liked before – raw tomatoes, bell peppers, and cucumbers.
    But no Chinese food? Are you crazy? We live on chinese food around here (made at home – there are absolutely no good Chinese restauarants within an hour of here.)
    As for the mushrooms, we occasionaly use them at home, but it seems to me that restaurants only *think* that it is a veggie staple food because they have no idea what to make otherwise. If I see another portabella burger, I’m going to scream.

  5. I absolutely hate oatmeal too, but I like oats in bars and cookies. Go figure. I’ve found that since I’ve been a vegetarian and gotten older (don’t know which is more responsible) I’ve started to like foods I never liked before – raw tomatoes, bell peppers, and cucumbers.
    But no Chinese food? Are you crazy? We live on chinese food around here (made at home – there are absolutely no good Chinese restauarants within an hour of here.)
    As for the mushrooms, we occasionaly use them at home, but it seems to me that restaurants only *think* that it is a veggie staple food because they have no idea what to make otherwise. If I see another portabella burger, I’m going to scream.

  6. ah, yes, i also hate raw tomatoes. 🙂 i love ketchup, salsa, any sauce made out of tomatoes… but the texture of a tomato itself? bleargh.
    i know, i sound just awful once i start rambling about Foods I Do Not Like. but like you, pleather, i think i have become more adventurous as i’ve gotten older. alas, some of that payoff has now been erased (since they were non-vegan adventures!), but still, i’m better than i used to be.
    i had tofu again today (i think this is the fourth time in my life) and liked it again. that’s gotta count for something.

  7. I don’t love oatmeal, but basically, I’m a human garbage disposal. I’ll eat anything that’s vegan and broadly defined as “edible.” I can’t think of any vegan food that I dislike enough not to be able to eat, though to be completely honest, I’m one of the rare folks who doesn’t love pasta (though I will eat it).

  8. I’ve always hated mushrooms. Slimy fungusy little bastards. I’m with you on the eggplant, too. And also with another poster on the hatred of raw tomatoes. I like tomato things, like sauce and ketchup and even bits of tomato in cooked things, but raw? Never ever ever. It’s a texture thing.
    I’ve always thought I was the worst vegetarian ever, because I don’t really like salad and it took me 9 years to try tofu. And that experiment only came once I went vegan.
    You are not alone! 🙂

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