one of the worst things that happened to me when i went vegan was that i learned where lanolin comes from. if you don’t know, it’s basically the stuff that oozes out of sheep wool. the reason this was such a horrifying discovery for me is because i was truly addicted to blistex lip medex. i adore the stuff. i am very, very into my lip balm, and not in an annoying-put-it-on-every-four-minutes sort of way. it’s just that after many, many years of sampling lip balms, i always considered blistex lip medex to be THE lip balm. it is thick and creamy, my lips were never, ever chapped, it has a nice tingly sensation, and it stays on forever. and one day after i went vegan it suddenly occurred to me that i should check my blistex label. i saw "lanolin" listed as an ingredient and i thought, "hmm, i’d better look that up to be sure," and then when i did: widespread panic.
i had a pot of lip medex on my desk at work, in my nightstand, in my purse, and in my travel kit at all times. and i always had a new one "on deck" in the medicine cabinet. this was, for me, a serious tragedy of epic proportions, and i’m not even trying to be funny.
right away, i began my search for a suitable replacement. it took a long time. i spent an obscene amount of money on vegan lip balms, only to try them once and know instantly that it wasn’t going to be The One. honestly, so many lip balms out there (vegan or no) just don’t have the right consistency. too waxy, or too oily. ick, and ew, respectively. i want something creamy enough that i know it’s there, that i feel like it’s actually doing something, and i won’t have to reapply all the time. almost everything i tried was in the too oily/thin category… merry hempsters, pussy pucker pots, perfumeria gal, literati, vaseline lip therapy, a couple of (actually vegan) blistex products… you name it, i bought it and pretty much immediately realized it wasn’t right. i was so very sad. and i found myself cursing The Man for having to ruin everything.
then, one day, a wonderful wonderful person posted on vegan represent with a lovely message of lip balminess. she was just letting us know about her cool vegan lip balm company, crazy rumors. when i asked for information about the texture of the balms, her darling partner answered with this description:
Our lip balms are soft, smooth and very creamy. It’s not oily at all and thicker than most balms out there without being waxy. It does coat your lips but does not last forever. It is more of a lip moisturizer meaning it gradually soaks in and conditions your lips.
how could i refuse? i placed an order immediately. i ended up e-conversing a whole bunch with the male half of crazy rumors and he’s wonderful. when i got my balm i emailed him right away to tell him that i LOVED it. then i ordered more. then i told my friends and family. they ordered some, and loved it. whee! a yummy, creamy, vegan lip balm!! be still my heart, seriously.
so far i have tried the following flavors: spiced chai (duh), mocha, french vanilla, irish cream, amaretto, and apple spice. i do not like coffee or tea, not at all, unless you count chai… so i was happy to hear that even though these flavors are "coffee- and tea-inspired," the majority of them just taste like their name, with no extra coffee or tea thrown in. i think that chai, amaretto, and mocha (color me surprised, because this one does have a teeny hint of coffee-ness) are my favorites… so far, anyway. i have also found that i prefer the consistency of the tube rather than the tin.
in addition to being fantastic, these balms are gender-neutral, inexpensive, and cruelty-free. i know i sound like a commercial but it’s really that i am just this passionate about good lip balm. if i can help anyone else on their quest for vegan-friendly lip balm, then i’m happy to do so. hooray for crazy rumors!