you know, it’s weird. i love chocolate. A LOT. i eat chocolate on probably 99% of my days. and yet, i just can’t get fully on board the hot cocoa train.
i drank hot cocoa as a child, as a special treat on snowy days, or if we went ice skating, and i remember liking it back then… but somewhere along the line, it just lost its appeal. it always sounds good, but then when i actually drink it i’m pretty meh about the whole experience. it leaves kind of a gritty texture in my mouth, and i usually wonder why i bothered to make it for myself.
as a result, i have tons of hot cocoa mix in my house just sitting around being unappreciated. i get it as gifts sometimes (and i totally understand why someone would get that for me: i hate "grownup drinks" like coffee or tea, but i love chocolate. makes sense.), and i usually end up making one cup and then neglecting the rest of it for ages. i always feel guilty about it, too. like it’s somehow my duty to love hot cocoa. the guilt is so strong that i buy hot cocoa for myself sometimes, as if i can will myself to like it. you just need to find the right one, i seem to be telling myself.
right now i have a giant canister of godiva cocoa mix (a gift from my mom’s office; she didn’t want it), a small canister of green & black’s maya gold cocoa mix, and a bunch of individual packets from ghirardelli. i haven’t cracked open the godiva, nor have i tried the green & black’s, but today i made myself a monster mug of double chocolate ghirardelli, because the mean ol’ snowstorm (or was it a snotstorm? you decide!) did in fact hit us pretty hard, and we had to shovel out today. i felt like i needed a "warm up drink," and i was out of chai, so i decided to make cocoa. verdict, once again? meh.
somehow this makes me sad. i think what i need to do is find someone who really hearts hot cocoa, and just make their day by showering them with mixes.
i will admit to liking mexican chocolate a bit more than hot cocoa. i have some tablets of abuelita and an enormous canister of ibarra in my pantry alongside the oodles of cocoa mix, and i favor those. maybe i consider them more exotic, or the slightly-spicy element reminds me somewhat of chai? i’m not sure. regardless, i would gladly drink chai every day of my life, and i drink hot cocoa about once every other year. mexican chocolate maybe a couple times per year. i hope the chocolate club doesn’t kick me out.