i am so buried in projects, manuscripts, emails, syllabi, journals, to-do lists, and self-doubt right now that i’m not sure what to do with myself.
this is a common theme in my life, and i haven’t figured out exactly how best to deal with it. i was talking to one of my closest friends yesterday, and we realized that two years of MA school (which is where we met), plus four years of PhD school, plus going on seven years of "being out" and working toward tenure, equals THIRTEEN SOLID YEARS of steadily increasing stress. think about that for a second. i did, and it kind of blew my mind.
we’re about ready to quit our jobs and open up a vegan cafe with adjoining yoga studio. she’s pretty damn serious about it, and she makes it sound better every single day, i tell you what.
school starts on monday (one of my classes doesn’t begin until thursday, though), and i don’t have syllabi or assignments or reading lists or anything at all put together yet. (and the scary part is, my classes are the least of my problems!) i wonder if i could just teach AR and vegan outreach all semester and get away with it. i could bang out a syllabus on that in about five minutes, and my at least my heart would be in it. well, that last part probably isn’t fair–i do enjoy my line of work, and i teach classes that are really fun (for me, anyway). it’s just that i’m so stressed out lately that it clouds my warm and fuzzy feelings.
stress stress stress stress stressy stressy stress.