treading water

i am so buried in projects, manuscripts, emails, syllabi, journals, to-do lists, and self-doubt right now that i’m not sure what to do with myself.

this is a common theme in my life, and i haven’t figured out exactly how best to deal with it. i was talking to one of my closest friends yesterday, and we realized that two years of MA school (which is where we met), plus four years of PhD school, plus going on seven years of "being out" and working toward tenure, equals THIRTEEN SOLID YEARS of steadily increasing stress. think about that for a second. i did, and it kind of blew my mind.

we’re about ready to quit our jobs and open up a vegan cafe with adjoining yoga studio. she’s pretty damn serious about it, and she makes it sound better every single day, i tell you what.

school starts on monday (one of my classes doesn’t begin until thursday, though), and i don’t have syllabi or assignments or reading lists or anything at all put together yet. (and the scary part is, my classes are the least of my problems!) i wonder if i could just teach AR and vegan outreach all semester and get away with it. i could bang out a syllabus on that in about five minutes, and my at least my heart would be in it. well, that last part probably isn’t fair–i do enjoy my line of work, and i teach classes that are really fun (for me, anyway). it’s just that i’m so stressed out lately that it clouds my warm and fuzzy feelings.

stress stress stress stress stressy stressy stress.

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10 comments

  1. 2006 was, in many ways, a year of stress for me. So much so that I took off last march for a 3 week trip to argentina. Last minute. As in, decided to go and bought the ticket on thursday. Left the following monday. Okay, that was a bit of craziness, but it felt good. And then this past summer…crazy stress. Like having to move from my apartment because I didn’t renew the lease because I thought my job-across-the-country would be starting by then, but because of a delay on the new job, I ended up camping out in a friends cabin instead for a few weeks. And then I was half way across the country before I found myself a place to live in my new location.
    So I thought 2006 was an anomoly. I heard from my landlord on Wednesday that he wants me to move out in a month because he wants to put the place on the market. ::sigh::
    Actually, that isn’t very stressful compared to last year, so it is all relative. It sucks that yours is increasing all the time. The vegan cafe and yoga studio…I would come visit just for that. It sounds divine. You could sell peppermint ritter sport and vegan non pareils. (did i spell that right?)
    I thought of you on saturday. I stopped off at pangea with some friends, and they had both pepermint ritters sports (i got one) and the non pareils or however they are spelled. Gary (of animalwritings) was one of the people with me, and I said “hey, gary, girl least likely to loves those!” lol.
    I hope your school stuff got done with relatively little pain.

  2. I wish you good luck with everything you have going on! I can sympathize with you- I am attempting to finish a dissertation, but constantly fantasize about food, cooking it, blogging about it, photographing it, etc…
    BTW, my partner teaches philosophy, and he always finds a way to make room for a unit or two having to do with AR, veganism, etc. The students, for the most part, dig it.

  3. I wish you good luck with everything you have going on! I can sympathize with you- I am attempting to finish a dissertation, but constantly fantasize about food, cooking it, blogging about it, photographing it, etc…
    BTW, my partner teaches philosophy, and he always finds a way to make room for a unit or two having to do with AR, veganism, etc. The students, for the most part, dig it.

  4. thanks for the good vibes everyone–and deb, maybe a trip to argentina is just what i need! heh. i’d love to run away right now but unfortunately i think it would make everything worse. i just have to keep my head down and work my butt off until i feel better. it’s just been rough lately. meh.
    deb, i hope you liked the peppermint ritter sport!

  5. thanks for the good vibes everyone–and deb, maybe a trip to argentina is just what i need! heh. i’d love to run away right now but unfortunately i think it would make everything worse. i just have to keep my head down and work my butt off until i feel better. it’s just been rough lately. meh.
    deb, i hope you liked the peppermint ritter sport!

  6. I know what you’re talking about with stress. I just set up mini assignments for myself so I don’t feel too overwhelmed and I give myself a pat on the back for each mini assignment i complete
    good luck!
    teddy

  7. I know what you’re talking about with stress. I just set up mini assignments for myself so I don’t feel too overwhelmed and I give myself a pat on the back for each mini assignment i complete
    good luck!
    teddy

  8. i’m sorry i never get to read your bloggy anymore! 😦 i’m sorry you were (and probably still are) under so much stress. you have such a good heart and are always taking on so many things. like danny said, remember to breathe! spend time with the kitties and puppies! eat lots of chocolate. keep going on lip balm sprees. and vent, because you don’t do that enough. we’re here for you, even those of us who can’t get online very often. :*
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{linds}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

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