the 2am sparrow

maia and i are having some difficulties with the bedtime potty trip. namely, i've spent the last two nights standing in the yard with her for 25-30 minutes, waiting for her to hurry up and go already, so that i can go to bed. it is beYOND frustrating. the first night i actually threatened self-harm, and she finally went. i tried it again the next night, but apparently she learned that i was crying wolf because it didn't work. 

so tonight i decided to try a new tactic, which was to just let her out the door while i stood inside and watched her. when i sent her out at 12.30am, she stood pitifully on the stairs and bumped her head into the screen to be let back in. i waited for a few minutes, then gave up and let her back in. when i sent her out at 1.30am, she did basically the same thing. i sighed (loudly) and let her back in. in the meantime, i'm staying up later than intended and watching teevy so i can distract myself from how frustrated i am. finally i wanted to be done watching teevy, so i sent her back out again at 2.15am. this time i stepped outside with her, but only onto the patio; not into the grass or anything. guess what, she stayed right next to me, apparently oblivious as to why we were outside. i once again threatened self-harm, she once again ignored me, and i stood there trying not to cry out of frustration, when suddenly something came whirring through the air at my head. 

i ducked, instinctively, and it flew right past my head and over maia. i almost thought it was a bat, except that the flapping seemed too loud. well, it landed on the driveway, and sure enough, it was a sparrow. just as soon as he landed, he flew toward us again, this time right toward the sliding glass doors, which he bumped very softly and then flew toward the neighbor's house. he landed on the side of their brick for a moment(!), then flitted away again. maia was totally fascinated, and i was a weird mixture of shocked and concerned. what the heck is a sparrow doing flying around my yard at 2.15am? i have a feeling he was disoriented by our gigantic motion light in the backyard, which probably accounted for the crazy-flying. anyhow, i gave up on maia, took her upstairs to bed, and went back outside to try and track down the birdie. alas, he was nowhere to be found. hopefully safe up in a tree somewhere, getting some sleep!

p.s. dear maia, please don't pee in the house tonight, thanks very much.


  1. Should you not be able to write properly don’t get involved with blogs and threads, you make a fool of yourself and create other fools who read them.

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