back in march when i listed off a bunch of things i wanted to blog about, "vegan meetup and other similar outings" was on my list. the amusing thing is that now, i can't really remember exactly what i wanted to talk about. oops. i think i might have wanted to share some of my apathy about going to meetups lately. i'm not exactly sure what that's about, but over the past few months i've been kind of meh about the whole thing. part of it is because many of the people i really like and look forward to seeing haven't been going, so, well i guess that's a normal consequence.
then of course there's the fact that i kind of got stuck with the bill at a recent meetup, which was not the end of the world, but kind of annoying nonetheless. basically a bunch of people put money in a pile and left, and when i stuck around to count it, it didn't add up. boo.
i think i'm also struggling with what i want to get out of going to meetups. originally it was simply to meet other vegans in my town, because i knew exactly zero of them, and i needed a place to feel comfortable, like i fit in, instead of feeling like The Difficult One when i'm at a restaurant with my family or friends. my friend dave helped me kick-start a meetup here (really i just used meetup to publicize some monthly lunches that were already occurring, but still–it really helped us generate awareness of our city's vegan peeps), and it was really cool to learn that there are regular ol' vegans around here. but over time, there has been a little bit of a struggle over the best kind of events to have, and especially over the scheduling of said events. i have just enough control over things to be Highly Visible, but not nearly the control to actually change things, so i end up hearing everyone's frustration and then not really being able to do anything about it. that (coupled with the fact that a lot of my pals have stopped bothering to attend) has taken its toll on my interest over the past six months or so. i think i've shifted from wanting to meet "just anyone" to wanting to hang out with the people i know i get along with–does that sound weird? i don't mean it to sound cliquey, because that's not at all how i feel… it's just… eh, i don't know how to explain this any better. hopefully you get what i'm saying.
i do love meeting new vegans, and i do love how excited people get when they come for the first time and they're realizing We Do Actually Exist (hee). i totally remember being that person, and it's fun to be able to give advice on restaurants or cookbooks or whatever… but also, i'm going to admit that i'm actually kind of a self-conscious person when it comes to small talk with strangers, so sometimes i'd rather just kick back and talk to the three people i know. and then i feel like a schmuck because i might seem standoffish, which i really am not.
i'm rambling. i guess this is what happens when you give yourself a topic and can't remember the details!
in any event, this month i'm dealing with my meetup apathy by hitting the road! a friend and i are road-tripping to another city's meetup (look out chicago, we are descending upon you), so we'll meet a bunch of new people and try some (hopefully) delicious vegan fast food, and i'll even get to hug a few old friends. i think it will be a lot of fun, and energizing. here's hoping we don't get lost on the way there.